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I believe there does have to be chemistry between two people in oder for a relationship to work. I am going to cite a prime example from personal experience.
# years ago I met a woman that lived close to 800 km`s from me, we hit it off quite well, spending hours talking online and exchanging e-mails, we then progressed to the phone at which time we would spend at times up to 9 hours on the phone.
Approximately 3 months later she invited me to her place for the weekend so I accepted. I got in the car and drove 7 hours north. I started from home with wintery conditions of course as it was the middle of January but still the roads were clear and the snow had stopped falling. By the time I got half way there I had to slow down from 140 km/h to 20 km/h because I couldn`t see 10` in front of me the snow was falling that much.
She was going through some difficult times with a recent break up of her relationship, the same guy she broke up with twice before that so I never bothered to force myself on her....I comforted her, I held her close while she cried on my shoulder ( ruined a good black silk shirt too because of her crying).
To make a long story short I was there with her every weekendfor almost a year I had truly fallen in love with her and her son. She knew how I felt but I never attempted anything with her because I knew she was not ready. I knew that because every weekend she would ask me to lay next to her in bed rather than in the guest room so that she could be held as she laid their crying. I admit there were times when I wanted her to grow up and act her age instead of her shoe size because the guy ditched her twice with months gone by she should have gotten over the fool by then but I kept my mouth shut for her.
Turns out that many times she wondered if I was gay because I would not make any sort of advancement toward her other than a quick kiss when I arrived and when I departed to return to work for the week. Then one night after being with her every weekend for the past 6 months she just let go of all inhibitions and started kissing me, it was getting rather warm, gotten to the point where we were both half naked but then she put on the brakes.damned good brakes at that I might add. I knew I could not stay with her that night so I left and got a hotel up the road. In the morning we discussed it and she said she wasnt ready so I respected her wishes, etc. and carried on just as I had done until then.
It wasn`t until 4 months after that did she realize that she did have to let go of her past and move on with the future....We made love for the first time and it was magical, needless to say if i didn`t look forward to being with her every weekend before then I sure as hell did after that.
It was on my birthday that year we went to the play Les Miserable and then went for dinner. Over dinner she told me she was pregnant, I at that moment felt like the luckiest and happiest man alive........until she told me I was not the father, turns out her `ex` had come back while I was back home during the week working and one thing lead to another. She could have at least waited till I was finished eating let alone the next day considering it was my birthday.
This guy then took off back to France for a third time, I was still there for her, I gave her my word that I would raise that child as my own and she new I really would but then he came back and actually stayed this time.
Here we are three years later and we are still very good friends, very close, we do still have a common bond and a certain special love for each other, not in love with each other but we have a love for each other. We both know that each of us would do anything for the other.
So with respect to "chemistry" yes i was in love with her, she loved me but was not `in love` with me so the chemistry just did not exist.
But, I still consider myself very lucky because I know out of all that, with all the frustration, all the hurt and heartache...........I do indeed have a very good friend in her.
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